Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday where a tribe of Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to grow corn and squash, thus fueling them to last through the winter and destroy the tribe later (Nice job Squanto). I may be taking some liberties with that statement, but Thanksgiving is also the holiday where we traditionally give thanks for all the good things in our lives. I choose to thank Jesus Christ for those things, and I thank him with fervor... or at least I should. I have a good life and a lot for which I should be thankful. I have a great family including a wonderful wife who loves me. I have some awesome friends who bring joy to my life, too. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and clothes to wear. I follow sports teams that continually break my heart, but at least I have the ability to watch them on TV, listen to them on the radio, and over-analyze them by reading and writing blogs. I have it pretty good... and my guess is that if you're reading this then you probably have a computer and that means that your life is pretty good too. What are you thankful for? From the looks of things, I would say spandex and Smittens: a lethal combination!
The only thing that kind of bums me out about the Thanksgiving holiday is the food. GASP! Could I really have just said that? Yep, I really dislike traditional Thanksgiving food. If I had it my way, Thanksgiving would be a holiday that mixes Italian, Mexican, and Thai food into one glorious meal that spans every culture... assuming there are only 3 other cultures besides "American". I really wouldn't know.
I also think that Thanksgiving is missing a mascot. Christmas has Santa Claus. Easter has the Easter Bunny. Halloween has the Devil. What if Thanksgiving had a gigantic purple turkey named Fester who brings wholesome foods to all of the good children who wish to fight childhood obesity? Fester enters your house through the basement while your family is sitting at the table eating Thanksgiving dinner, and he leaves these healthy gifts in your laundry basket. If you don't have a basement, it's widely-believed that he enters through the toilet. Fester's legendary love for techno music and beef stroganoff means that if you set up a little dance area for him complete with his meal of choice, he will bless your home's traditional Thanksgiving Night dance party with flax muffins and malt liquor. Do you believe in the magic of Fester on Thanksgiving? Even at 30 years old, I still believe!
Happy Thanksgiving everybody, and go Hokies! Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble.
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