Monday, April 13, 2009

Arrrrrrgh! Pirates!

No not those kind of pirates, but the ones with guns who rob ships around Africa and in the Persian Gulf. A US Navy SEAL team sniped 3 pirates, but what is most impressive is the way it was done. 3 shots from 3 seals from 75 feet away as the boat rocked up and down over 3 foot waves. You would think the pirates' response would be something along the lines of, "Okay, we won't try to steal from your ships anymore... you just kicked our ass pretty hard." Instead the "head pirate" located in Somalia vowed revenge and said that they would deal more harshly with American hostages from now on.

Now I'm not a terribly smart man. After all, there's plenty I don't know about both astrophysics and astrology (yes I mean astrology, not astronomy), but I know that if I'm the head of a small group of pirates, I don't go making threats against a government with the power to find me and kill me in a matter of hours. That'd be like me walking up to Mike Tyson and vowing to punch him in the face if he didn't let me have his pudding. Anyone with any sense knows that I'm about 2 seconds away from getting my face punched in, and I think that's exactly what these pirates are doing. The American politicians are looking for just about anything to distract the people of this country from remembering our economic woes, and this little pirate scandal is the perfect thing. As long as this stays a story in the public eye, these pirates are going to face an epic smackdown, from the Bay Area and back down, Cali is where I lay my mack down... California knows how to party. Whoops, I got off track there for a second, but I think you get my point.

In short, pirates shouldn't take drugs. Say no to crystal meth, pirates.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow, what is that head pirate thinking?! Didn't he see how quickly we tracked down Osama Bin Laden and pwned his ass? Oh, wait a minute...

Unknown said...

Haha, hey now! The difference here is that we know exactly what town this guy is in, and we probably even know exactly where the dude is. He ain't hiding in the vast mountains of Somalia.