Penn State's New Recruit

Penn State recently landed a coveted transfer student-athlete from Alabama in the form of Lee Hannah. Fortunately for the Nittany Lions, Hannah has not used up any of his eligibility during his 1 year at Alabama and 4 years at Virginia Tech, so he is likely to remain at PSU for a minimum of 4 years (unless NFL GMs are knocking down his door). When asked for comment, VT's coach Frank Beamer said, "Who? Okay I'll sign a ball for him." Alabama's coach Nick Saban refused to comment, but did admit to scouting the intramural fields for talent. Penn State was unavailable for comment, but we can only find 3 professors in the political science department that know of him. Hannah currently resides in Tuscaloosa and is training at least twice a week.

To further your reading pleasure, we were able to obtain this exclusive interview with Lee Hannah...

HH.com: "Lee, what attracted you to Penn State?"

LH: "I just realized that coaches are no longer sticking with programs, they're about as reliable as a Brett Favre retirement speech. But then I realized that Coach Paterno will never leave, so I rejected Coach Bowden's offer and caught the first plane to State College, which took approximately 3 days connecting in 8 airports."

HH.com: "How do you envision playing in the Big Ten will be different from playing in the SEC?"

LH: "Well anyone who has played intramurals with me will admit that I'm amazing, however I am constantly criticized for being slow and white. Then I realized that most slow white guys have gotten their shot in the Big Ten, so here I am!"

HH.com: "There have been reports that you are a me-first player who doesn't care at all about the concept of 'team'... care to comment?"

LH: "I felt shunned by Coach Beamer for redshirting me for four seasons, I mean who am I? Tyrod Taylor!? And then Saban kept me on the sidelines also, I didn't even have a seat for every game! So I spoke out, but I'm ready to get in there and put up some stats, win or lose."

HH.com: "What do you think you bring to the Nittany Lions?"

LH: "Mainly I'm just bringing some transfer credits. I'm also much heavier since my freshmen year. I'm really excited to work with the OC!"

HH.com: "Don't call him that."

"Last summer before attending Alabama there was a minor recruiting scandal involving you and a brand new Lincoln Navigator... what really happened there?"

LH: "They had great interest rates and I didn't have to start paying for a year. I was under the impression that I would leave alabama after a year to enter the draft. My agent said the same thing."

"By the way, do you know how to file for bankruptcy?"

HH.com: "I think you kind of just do it... like farting in public."