My roommate is thinking about getting a chinchilla as a pet for our place. You've probably never heard of one of these animals, but they're fluffy rodents from the Andes Mountains of South America. If you have heard of them then it's probably because you have a hat or a coat made out of their soft, warm fur. Murderer. God sees what you do and will judge you accordingly. I'm kind of excited about the prospect of having a pet in the house because my family always had a dog while we were growing up, and we also had our fair share of hamsters. Hamsters are awesome because keeping them ends up being like a never-ending episode of Prison Break. It doesn't matter how well you close their cages or what you put on top of their cages to keep the hamsters from getting out, you're going to find they've escaped by morning more often than not. My favorite hamster story (yeah, I have a favorite hamster story... what of it?) is about my sister's pet named Sunny. When I was 10 or 11 or something like that, my cousins, my brother, my sister, and I were all sleeping on cots in our basement because we had family over. Don't worry, it was a furnished basement... this isn't necessarily a story about child abuse. Anyway, I started to feel sick so my mom brought me a bucket to puke into if I felt the urge. And I did feel the urge at one point during the night, and I threw up a little bit in the bucket. When I woke up in the morning, the bucket was empty and the vomit had been replaced by Sunny the hamster. To this day, I don't know what happened, but I like to think that Sunny escaped during the night, smelled the alluring scent of vomit, made her way to my cot and climbed up my blanket, walked on top of me to get near the bucket, then dove into the bucket and snacked on the stuff that my body didn't want. Tell me that isn't incredible, and I will call you a liar.
Anyway, I am excited to have more stories like this, so I say to Keith, "Bring on the chinchilla." Keith went to James Madison University, so he's likely to name the chinchilla "Duke" or something dumb like that, but I think that I will secretly name the animal "Ron Mexico" in honor of Michael Vick and his STD-testing alias. Long live Ron Mexico!
2 comments:
My brother had a chinchilla. Actually about 5 of them, because he had a boy and a girl and well, you know how those things go. Anyways he had to get rid of all of them. Costly little animals from what I remember. Anyways, good luck with that and enjoy them.
Can you put a Chinchilla on a leash?
I'll be reading from time to time, glad to see you're beginning your sportswriting career!
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