Man Weekend

Why the long layoff? I mean, it's been almost a week since my last post. Don't worry everybody, the posts will not stop just because there is no Virginia Tech football or basketball being played... I was just at Man Weekend 2009 for four incredible days. What is "Man Weekend", you wonder? It is a glorious event where I get together with about 10-12 guys from college at our friend's uncle's river house and we drink delicious beer, watch the NCAA tournament, eat heart-destroying food, play video games, and even combat one another in a serious, no-holds-barred croquet contest. Real men play croquet... particularly the Eddie Bauer set that you can pick up for around $60 at Target. The weather this year was craptacular, but that didn't stop us from doing the things we were called to do, as men, since the beginning of time.

Let the record show that I suck at croquet. I participated in two games and subsequently got my ass kicked for my troubles. We set the game up on this turf that the nearby golf course uses to repair their greens, and I simply could not read that green. Every shot bent like Beckham... no not that one, I mean Terry Beckham at my office, he has a really bad back. Wordplay!

As for my brackets, they were shot to hell when Purdue and Pittsburgh lost. I had Purdue in the Elite 8 and Pittsburgh winning the whole darn thing. Shows what I know... I guess I thought that Pittsburgh was a better offensive team than they really are. DeJuan Blair is even fatter than I realized... I'd seen clips of the guy, but until you watch him for a whole game you really can't understand his fatness. The guy breathes hard after just jogging from the bench to scorer's table before he checks in. He's a monster when it comes to grabbing rebounds and putting in shots around the hoop, but he has to take a lot of breaks during the game and he's prone to foul trouble. And furthering the Pittsburgh fat trend is Levance Fields, their point guard who looks like he should be watching the game at home with a full rack and a half rack of ribs. Pitt's strength and conditioning coach should be fired as he's neglected the entire second half of his title.

The only thing that sucks about Man Weekend is when it's over and you have to go back to work. This office couldn't be more dead than it is right now. Maybe someone released some poisonous gas while I was in the bathroom? Maybe I released some poisonous gas while I was in the bathroom? Who knows, really.